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The holiday season is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year — full of happiness, cheer, and joy. And while this might be the case for many, it can also be accompanied by emotional stress that can take a toll on one’s health and well-being.

Research suggests that the brain can go into overdrive just before the holidays. Why? Because there are so many decisions to be made and holiday responsibilities can become the topic of conversation in the home long before the holidays arrive. For instance, how will you manage your time, where will your guests stay, will there be conflict in the family, how much money should you spend. And on it goes. It’s not uncommon to find that you can relax only after the holidays are over and life returns to its normal pace.

Some tips on how to cope:

Manage your expectations.

Most of us expect the holidays have to be perfect, down to every small detail.  Easing up a little bit to take the edge off some of the pre-holiday stress. Acknowledge that it is okay if everything doesn’t go just the way you planned, and being kind to yourself when that happens can reduce the self-judgment and help you focus on what’s important – celebrating with those you love.

Pick your battles.

While there may be unfinished business between family members, which is often a cause for stress and anxiety during the holidays, perhaps another time can be set aside to address conflict and find a resolution. You may find that a family member may bring old conflicts to you, and it’s okay to tell them that while this is important to address, you would prefer to do so after the holidays so it can be given the appropriate focus it warrants.

Mindful eating.

Emotional eating and binge eating during the holidays as a way of coping with stress is common because it’s so automatic. Being mindful and paying closer attention to how you eat can help reduce the guilt you might feel post-holidays. Mindful eating can help you make food choices that allow for indulgence but also helps you associate eating with cues such as being hungry and being relaxed rather than being stressed.

Set your boundaries.

Whether it be how much shopping you are going to do or how much time you actually want to spend with family, plan for and set your boundaries ahead of time. This can help reduce some of the uncertainty around budget and time. If you need quality time for yourself, make this expectation clear and take that much-needed walk or workout. Research suggests that women are more likely to fall prey to holiday stress because they shoulder more of the responsibility around planning. Let others chip in and ask for what you need when you find that you need to take a timeout to recharge.

Managing loss and loneliness.

 

For those that aren’t with their loved ones this year or have lost a partner or family member, the holidays can be an especially painful reminder of this loss. It can be hard to muster up the right amounts of joy and happiness. Reach out to others if you feel sad or lonely, and talk about how you feel. Acknowledging and accepting that it’s normal to have some level of moodiness during the holidays can reduce the self-judgment around this.  Seeking professional help prior to the holidays can be a good idea if you are likely to feel very overwhelmed during this time or might have difficulty coping.

Pandemic stress.

If you’re worried that you can’t celebrate with elderly parents or family members this holiday season, find alternate ways of being together, whether it be a socially distanced outdoor dinner or an online celebration. We’ve all been tested with embracing change this year, and understanding that the holidays might be different is okay. The important thing is to spend time with those you care about; even if it isn’t the same way as the previous year, there are multiple ways to create togetherness.

 

Dr. Divya Kannan, who wrote this article, is the lead psychologist for cure.fit (curefit.com), a health and fitness app.

srmedia by — December 29, 2020 in Lifestyles

Holidays are filled with traditions, but when someone you used to share those moments with has died, managing grief during the holiday season can be particularly challenging. While family members, particularly children, may want things to be as they’ve always been, the reality is things have changed. It can also be a time to create new traditions and memories that honor your absent loved one.

Consider this advice from the National Funeral Directors Association to help navigate grief this holiday season.

  1. Get plenty of rest. The holiday season pulls people in many directions, and that can mean getting less sleep than you need. However, being tired not only has a physical impact on how you feel, it can affect your ability to process emotions.
  2. Give yourself permission to take a break. No two people process grief and loss the same way; only you know your limits. Even in a season filled with obligations and commitments, it’s okay to set boundaries and remove yourself from holiday reminders and triggers. That may mean flipping the channel on the TV or bypassing the holiday display at the store. Taking care of yourself when you’re grieving isn’t just about comfort, it’s also about avoiding discomfort.
  3. Be realistic with your commitments. You may be the one who hosts your family’s holiday celebration every year, but if others offer, let them. Allow loved ones to help, and if they don’t volunteer, don’t be afraid to ask.
  4. Look for tangible ways to express feelings. So much of grief is internal, but physical expressions of your memories and feelings can help process it all.
  5. Verbalize how you’re feeling. Manage expectations by telling family and friends how you’re feeling about the holiday and what they can expect from you. Also let them know what you need from them. If talking about your loved one brings comfort, let those around you know you appreciate the stories and reminiscing. If it hurts, ask that they refrain.
  6. Honor your feelings and needs. Grief comes in waves. The only way to process it is to ride one wave to the next. That may mean putting off your holiday shopping for a day when you’re feeling less emotional, or bowing out of an event you planned to attend.
  7. Include your late loved one in the holidays. It may mean serving his or her favorite dish, placing a photo on the mantel, or simply slipping a memento in your pocket so you can touch it when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Find more advice at rememberingalife.com.

 

Source: Family Features

srmedia by — December 7, 2020 in Lifestyles

Holiday gatherings can be a time for adult children to take a close look at aging parents and relatives and evaluate their ability to live independently and safely. Even more important is bringing up issues in conversations that are open, honest and understood by all.

For some guidance on how to do that, Pierce County Aging and Disability Resources will host “Conversations: When Families Get Together,” a free presentation and discussion aimed at helping adult offspring be alert to signs of possible trouble. Twice in December, the sessions will focus on home maintenance, personal hygiene, spoiled food in the cupboard or refrigerator, unpaid bills, and concerns around legal and end-of-life issues.  In addition, advice will be given on how to talk about these issues in ways that are sensitive and caring.

The webinars will be offered on:

  • 3 at 7 p.m. online at https://piercecountywa.zoom.us/j/95869157440 and by phone at 253-215-8782 or 888-788-0099. Webinar ID: 958 6915 7440.
  • 5 at 10 a.m. at https://piercecountywa.zoom.us/j/94796969007 and by phone at 253-215-8782 or 888-788-0099. Webinar ID: 947 9696 9007.

“Isolation can be a critical problem for older adults. That makes family gatherings so important, whether in person or online, for adult children to be vigilant to current or emerging issues that may limit an older adult’s ability to remain at home on their own,” said Aaron Van Valkenburg, manager of Aging and Disability Resources, a county government program.

More information about the presentations is available at 253-798-4600 or 800-562-0332.

srmedia by — December 1, 2020 in Lifestyles
Take it from her: Women can avoid ‘old age traps’

As a 60-year-old retiree, Pat Garner reassures fellow women in her age group that they can “achieve their ultimate youthful potential in their retirement years instead of becoming fragile, little old ladies in the rocking chair.”

Garner, an anti-aging and nutrition advisor, writes for Put Old on Hold Journal, where she and other writers spout advice aimed at debunking old-style attitudes about chronological age and avoiding traditional “old age traps.”  Women retiring now are destined for the same traditional decline as their older peers unless they take a radical approach to achieving and maintaining youthful, vibrant aging. Garner said.

“When you know the alternatives to old thinking and living, you don’t have to be decrepit and dependent in a wheelchair in your 90s. That’s an avoidable, outdated way of life. We’re doing it and showing what can be done,” she said.

Avoiding outdated ways of life is critical for retired women, says Pat Garner, who’s one of them.
srmedia by — November 18, 2020 in Lifestyles