The Senior Scene

It may seem silly to start adapting your home in your fifties or sixties to make it more accessible and easier to navigate for someone who uses a walker, is in a wheelchair or cannot reach high shelves due to arthritis.  Though, when you currently have none of these conditions, it is the right time to make adjustments and something that many Americans should seriously consider. In a survey conducted by the National Council on Aging, older Americans overwhelmingly indicated that they would prefer to remain living in their current residence as they grow older. Nine out of ten seniors planned on living in their home for 5-10 years more at least, which should make planning ahead for future mobility challenges a priority.

Interestingly, the majority of seniors surveyed (85%) did not think their homes would need any significant renovations to enable them to continue living there. This might be true when in good health and mobility is unimpaired, but the reality is that many seniors will experience a fall after the age of 65.  Modifications in key areas such as bathrooms and long hallways will reduce their risk of fall and greatly enhance their ability to move about their home safely.  For example, a shower with a small step up or down poses no hurdle in your younger years, but as the years pass those few inches could really matter.

Of course, preparation does not call for massive structural renovations like knocking out walls. There are practical changes that can be made for reasonable costs and without massive disruption to everyday life. For example, installing grab bars in bathrooms or at door thresholds where a step down or up is required.  Quick, low-cost changes like this can lessen the risk for falls that could turn into more complicated health problems.  In addition, there are easy-to-use technologies that can make life easier for seniors and provide peace of mind for family members.

While some people may find it overly invasive, there are companies that offer monitoring services via in-home WiFi connected cameras and sensors.  These devices can detect falls, lack of movement or other characteristics that may indicate a health problem.  This then triggers an alarm that allows a professional emergency response team, caregivers or family members to perform a visual or voice check-in.  These solutions are limited to the home and while they serve a purpose the safety net does not extend to out-of-home mobility.

For mobile seniors, there are also mPERS devices. Mobile Personal Emergency Response Systems can be worn like a pendant or a watch that seniors press if they fall and need medical assistance.  mPERS devices work inside and away from the home and they can also often auto-detect falls to call for help without any action from the person wearing or carrying the device.  These devices offer two-way voice communication with professionally trained emergency response operators, 911 operators, loved ones or caregivers depending upon how they are setup.  Often the service providers can also provide loved ones and caregivers access to a mapping tool that shows the location of the senior with the mPERS device in real-time.

Aging in place is an admirable goal and one that anyone who wants to should pursue. It is important to be realistic about the health challenges that one could face down the road and to plan for the unexpected. Doing so will only make living at home possible for longer. There may be an upfront cost and it may require dealing with aging issues that many of us would prefer to ignore and sweep under the rug, but the benefits of planning ahead outweigh the disappointment of having to move out of the home you have loved for years.

Chris Holbert, who wrote this article, is the chief executive officer of SecuraTrac, which develops and sells mobile health and safety poducts for families and workplaces.

Ten million Gen X and Baby Boomer parents have estranged adult children. Parents wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong?

Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.

Tina Gilbertson, a psychotherapist and author of “Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child,” has developed techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship, so parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as “tone setter” and grow psychologically.

Becoming a stranger to one’s child is one of the most painful things that can happen to a parent, Gilbertson says. Although you enter estrangement in pieces, it’s a crucible that can make you whole again — not just as someone’s parent, but for yourself, the Vancouver, B.C. native advises.

The greatest burden for estranged parents is unnecessary shame, said Gilbertson, adding her purpose is not just to help you repair your relationship with your child, but also to fortify your bond with yourself.

“Healing from estrangement is an opportunity for intense personal growth if you’re up for it. This is true whatever the outcome may be,” she said.

As our loved ones grow older, it’s often the time when we recognize that they need extra support. You may have found that your mom or dad was no longer able to keep up with daily household tasks or suddenly required more hands-on assistance due to physical or even cognitive limitations. You could feel concerned about leaving them alone, yet not sure what to do next.

The first thing I often recommend to families is to evaluate if their loved one’s needs are being met. Is the house clean? Are they eating well?  Are they able to get around? Are they social or do you fear they may be isolated? Do they have signs of memory loss?

If answers to any of these questions raise concerns, it is likely time to begin preparing for a transition. Here are a few tips that will help get you and your family off on the right foot.

• Determine what is most important. When thinking about what may be best for your family, take an inventory of what matters most to you and your loved one. Proximity to family? Having an active social life with frequent activities? What type of environment would make your loved one feel most at home?
• Review their financial reality. Look at your loved-one’s retirement savings, Social Security, pensions, home equity and other assets and income. What can they afford based on their current monthly living expenses? Do they have long-term care insurance? What debt do they need to pay off? Are family members planning to help financially with this next phase? This reality check will confirm what options you can consider together.
• Begin researching your options. Once you’ve determined what’s most important and you have a budget in mind, you may consider having your mom, dad or loved one move in with you or another close family member. If your loved one has an active social life and has more limited needs, in-home care might be appealing. If they could benefit from hands-on care and an active, social community while maintaining some independence, assisted living may be the best fit.
• Engage their care team. It is never too early to engage medical providers. A trusted, third-party resource is helpful in these situations. Not only does the provider know your parent well, but he/she can provide an objective and informed recommendation to your family. And when the time is right, this person may help you start the conversation about a transition.
• Prepare important documents. Even if you aren’t sure when you may want to make a transition, you can get your paperwork in order right away. All too often, families wait until a crisis hits and they are left overwhelmed with these details. Things you could begin gathering now include an emergency information sheet, an Authorization to Release Confidential Information form, house pharmacy form, copies of photo ID and Medicare card, and a copy of their living will.

Most importantly, remember you aren’t alone. Engage professionals to help guide you and your loved ones during this time of change to ensure a smooth transition for all.

Kathy Stewart is a vice president of Aegis Living, whose assisted-living and memory care communities include 23 in King County.