The Senior Scene

A new report provides evidence that consistent volunteering can improve the health and well-being of people age 55 and older.

The report, released in February by the Corporation for National and Community Service (CNCS), the federal agency responsible for the nation’s volunteer and service efforts, examined the positive impacts on Senior Corps volunteers in the Senior Companion and Foster Grandparent programs who help home-bound seniors maintain independence and tutor and mentor at-risk youth, respectively. According to the research:

• After two years of service in Senior Corps, 84 percent of older adults reported improved or stable health.

• 32 percent of Senior Corps volunteers who reported good health at the beginning of the study reported improved health at the two-year followup.

• Of those who reported five or more symptoms of depression at the beginning of the study, 78 percent felt less depressed two years later. 

• 88 percent of Senior Corps volunteers who first described a lack of companionship reported a decrease in feelings of isolation after two years.

• Among those who initially reported a lack of companionship, 71 percent reported an improvement in their companionship status.

The volunteers found their service satisfying and meaningful through opportunities for personal growth, a sense of accomplishment, and friendship all factors associated with improved health and emotional well-being, officials said.

Information on Senior Corps programs is available at seniorcorps.gov/healthyvolunteers.

It’s true, the life of a caregiver can be demanding, difficult and daunting. I spent seven years of my life in that role, keeping an eye on my wife’s every move. Just about every night, Carol and I awoke from our slumber at least five times to make trips to the bathroom. We spent endless nights in hospitals and long days in doctor’s offices.

If given the chance to do it all over again, I would. Those years of being a caregiver constitute the best seven of my life. I learned a ton about myself and my family, became a more fulfilled man, and had the incredible chance to fall in love with my wife all over again.

While I could easily list 20 wonderful things about serving in a caregiving role, here are five very important and unexpected rewards:

1. A better relationship.

When I started being a caregiver, time slowed down. Because the role can be so demanding, you must focus on the person. In the process, you learn what makes them tick – maybe things you hadn’t noticed before. Putting these nuggets of wisdom to use can make that person so happy, which in turn makes you feel good. For Carol, it was pancakes. When she needed a boost, a single pancake could do the trick. Every once in a while, she’d be down in the dumps. The minute I saw this, we were on the way to our local breakfast joint. Carol’s smile would make my day.

2. Precious moments.

You get to be a part of some very special moments. Before my wife’s strokes, we’d spend some time together but did our own thing most of the time. After Carol got sick, I spent 90 percent of my time with her, and I got to be a part of so many meaningful moments.

Her father had come to live with us for a few years during her illness. He was around 90 at the time. Every night the Pittsburgh Pirates played on TV, they stood, held hands and sang “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” You could just feel the love and joy between them. I’ll never forget those moments.

3. Discovering humility.

Before my wife became ill, I was a decent man and generally thoughtful of others, but my world had veered towards self-centeredness. I was set in my ways and had been accustomed to the order in my world.

At first, out of necessity, I began taking care of her needs. Soon thereafter, I started feeling good when I did things to help her.  Then something tremendous occurred, I began to derive sustained joy when making her life better. By the time she passed away, I’d committed my life to completely serving her and felt total fulfillment. I’d become entirely selfless. There may not be a better feeling in the world.

4. A deeper relationship.

As I gave myself over to her, my wife started to really feel the love. And in turn, she began to outwardly show her love and appreciation. A day wouldn’t go by when she would tell me that “You’re too good to me,” or “Thanks for all that you do for me.” I never sought these assurances, but when she’d offer them, it would light up my day. It was then I realized that we were falling in love all over again.

5. A stronger family.

Only one of my siblings and one of our three sons lived in Pittsburgh when my wife got sick. At first, I felt sort of alone in dealing with her health crisis, but that didn’t last very long. The one son who lived the closest moved in for a year. My other two kids came in regularly and showered their mother with love. My siblings came all the time and called when they couldn’t.

I’ve lived my life abiding by the philosophy that what happens to you isn’t as important as how you respond to it. My entire family responded with love, concern, help and support. Each time, their acts and deeds made Carol and I feel wonderful. I took great pride in seeing my family come together.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always easy. Yet, at the end of each day of caregiving, I always received a small gift – a sense of fulfillment. And now, when I look back at those seven years, I am reminded that my life had purpose, which is the greatest reward of them all.

George Shannon, who wrote this article, and his son, Chad Shannon, co-authored a book (“The Best Seven Years of My Life: The Story of an Unlikely Caregiver”) about George’s experience as caregiver for his wife.

With aging parents, we often think about the physical ailments that come with getting older. It could be vision loss, arthritis, trouble walking or a new heart condition. We can easily forget the emotional and mental health challenges that our parents may face.

According to the American Psychological Association, one in four adults ages 65 and older experiences a mental health problem such as anxiety or, more commonly, depression. However, older adults are far more likely to discuss physical symptoms than talk about emotions. There is generational stigma at play and the perception that feelings commonly associated with mental illness are just a part of getting older.

If you’re anything like me, your mom is the strongest person you know, and you may never suspect she might be struggling. She may be the one that never misses a birthday or anniversary, makes the perfect cookies, relays the best advice when you have no words and always has a smile on her face. But remember she is human – just like you – and has emotional needs, just like her physical ones.

This Mother’s Day, take the time to check in on your mom, no matter where she is. You can help her avoid future issues or get treatment early if you suspect a problem. So where do you start?

• Visit with her regularly. Whether it be in-person, on the phone or video chat, let your mom know you are there. Encourage other family members and friends to do the same. This is the first step to help her avoid loneliness, boredom and even isolation. Also, aim to stay connected with your mom’s closest peers. They can be your lifeline should they suspect an issue and vice versa.
• Track big life changes. As people get older, they may experience difficult life changes – losing a partner, moving out of a home, undergoing surgery or experiencing new physical limitations. Pay special attention to your mom during these times as they could trigger an issue.
• Look for the physical signs. Stress and mental health can impact your physical health as well. Even if your mom seems fine, physical signs that she may be experiencing a mental illness could include difficulty sleeping, a poor appetite or an inability to concentrate.
• Talk about the tough stuff. It can sometimes be difficult to talk about the new emotions and health concerns that arise with growing older. No matter how awkward or even invasive it may feel, carve out time to address potential issues with your mom. You may learn something new. And if you don’t, the door will be open should your mom ever need to talk in the future.
• Be a health advocate. Living a healthy lifestyle has a direct impact on your mental health and well-being. Encourage your mom to schedule regular check-ups, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise. Join your mom for stress-relieving activities like yoga and spending time outdoors. Mental well-being isn’t just beneficial in the short term – according to the Global Council on Brain Health, adults age 50 and older who have mental well-being tend to report better brain health including memory and thinking skills.
• Ask for help. Encourage your mom to schedule an appointment with her physician to be evaluated if you suspect a problem. Some health plans, including some Medicare Advantage plans, also cover telebehavioral health services – where your mom could meet with a behavioral or mental health specialist for conditions including grief and loss, depression, anxiety or relationship issues without leaving the comfort of her own home. You can also contact your health plan and ask for help. Many plans offer behavioral health resources and have referral resources at your fingertips.

We all want to be there for our parents, just like they have always been for us. Part of being there is acknowledging that the life changes they are experiencing can be challenging. and letting them know you have their back.

Catherine Field, who wrote this article, is Humana’s market Medicare president and is based in Federal Way.