The Senior Scene

(Pictured: For older adults, the dating scene has opportunities and challenges.)

By Christina Healy

A record 25.9 million seniors are single and ready to mingle in America, up almost 6 million from a decade ago, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Some prefer to stay single, but enough seek companionship that marriage rates for seniors last year hit a 10-year high at 56 percent.

All these indicators, along with more seniors trying dating apps, suggest that cupid will be very busy in 2025.

While the dating scene for seniors offers opportunities, it’s not without challenges, especially for people who have been out of the game for decades.

Dating in the digital age is a good way to meet people but also potentially costly. Americans lost a record $1 billion to romance scams in 2023. Seniors were by far the most targeted age group in such fraud and should never send money to anyone they meet online.

The bedroom has gotten riskier, too, with sexually transmitted infections (STI) more than doubling among seniors between 2000 and 2022.

The cost of a date night has also increased.

With so many variables, Seniorly conducted a study analyzing 12 metrics of data across three main categories in all 50 states and D.C.: Health and well-being (overall health, mental health, life expectancy, and STI rates), family life (marital status, whether seniors live alone or with family, ratio of older women to men, and how engaged they are socially), and financial health (average date-night costs, availability of restaurants, the likelihood of falling prey to romance scams, and spending on memberships and clubs), .

Here’s some of what the study found out: 

• Number of single seniors and marriage rate soar. The 25.9 million single seniors in America are the most ever – and the marriage rate of 56.3 percent is the highest in 10 years.
• South Dakota is the No. 1 state for finding love, due to its exceptionally low rate of mental distress among seniors (5 percent), high percentage of older adults in good health (82 percent), and a balanced gender ratio among older adults of 111 women for every 100 men. The rest of the top five states are, in order, Minnesota, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Hampshire.

Washington ranked 29th, supported by a strong life expectancy (11^th-best), solid health outcomes (18^th-best), and a decent restaurant scene (19^th-best) that enhances social opportunities. The state also has a fairly balanced gender ratio and above-average recreational spending. However, the Evergreen State has high STI rates, a high frequency of romance scam victims, and expensive date nights.

• West Virginia ranked last due to its low life expectancy and poor health outcomes, among other shortcomings.
• More fish in the sea isn’t always better. The country’s four most populous states ranked in the bottom half overall: No. 30 New York, No. 34 California, No. 40 Florida, and No. 43 Texas. Pennsylvania, the fifth-largest state, ranked 23rd. This suggests that a larger population doesn’t always translate to a better dating pool.
• States with fewer single seniors tended to score better overall. The ironic twist may reflect stronger long-term relationship stability, better social support networks, and healthier folks – all factors that contribute to a higher quality of life and more favorable rankings.
• Marriage isn’t just great for romance, but also a key ingredient to a longer and happier life. Married seniors can expect to live longer than their unmarried counterparts, are less likely to be lonely, and tend to be in better health.

While some seniors have sworn off dating, the Census data shows love is in the air. And online. Dating apps aren’t just for the young and restless – older Americans are swiping right, too. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, 13 percent of adults 65 and older are in on the digital action, and with more than 1,000 online dating platforms out there, seniors looking for love have an overwhelming number of options.

Source: seniorly.com, an online researcher of senior lifestyle trends and information on selecting senior living communities.

NOTE: this can be a sidebar, along with the Social listings from TTD

10 ways to find love

Online dating.

Swipe, chat, spark! Senior-friendly dating apps like eHarmony, OurTime, and SilverSingles can make it easy to jump back into the dating game. Start with a flirty chat, try a video call, and when you’re ready, meet up for that perfect coffee date.

Social Media and online hangouts.

Facebook groups, hobby forums, and virtual book clubs can lead to real-life romance.

Local fun and community events.

Bingo nights, dance classes, and senior socials? Yes, please! Travel groups and cruise adventures can also be full of heartwarming surprises.

Fitness and active lifestyles.

Love might await at yoga classes, walking groups, and pickleball courts. Parks and gyms are the new senior singles scene.

Giving back and volunteering.

Do good, meet good people. Volunteering at charities, hospitals, and community events naturally brings like-minded hearts together.

Senior living and retirement villages.

Home is where the heart is—literally! 55-plus communities offer activities (and chances for romance).

Travel and senior dating cruises.

Adventure + companionship = the perfect match! Cruises, road trips, and group tours set the stage for connections.

Faith and fellowship.

Church groups, Bible studies, and faith-based retreats bring singles together in soulful ways. Bonus: Dating sites such as ChristianMingle and JDate make it even easier.

Second careers and workplace love.

Encore careers and part-time gigs aren’t just for income—they’re for meeting new people, too. Co-working spaces and networking events can spark unexpected romance.

Speed dating and matchmaking.
Senior speed dating? Yes, it’s a thing. Quick chats, big laughs, and maybe even love. For a more curated match, professional services have your back.

Source: seniorly.com

(Pictured: Never Never Land, with its iconic figurine of Humpty Dumpty at the entrance, was once a children’s attraction at Point Defiance Park. Everything was removed after slipping into disrepair.)

TIME & AGAIN

From its origins in 1888 as a “loaner” from the U.S. military, Point Defiance Park is a place where Tacoma residents and visitors mingle with history, nature, and outdoor recreation.

The park’s mammoth size (756 acres) today encompasses a zoo, a boardwalk, a boathouse, a historic fort replica, a winding, scenic drive, and 400 acres of old-growth forest on a point of land jutting into Puget Sound. Now operated by Parks Tacoma (formerly Metro Parks), it was part of the homelands of the Puyallup Tribe, whose members still consider the space an important part of their tribal heritage.  

The land began a new chapter 137 years ago when then-president Grover Cleveland signed legislation giving Tacoma the right to use it as a city park. Until then, it was an undeveloped military reservation. With no amenities, the public use of the park was limited to mostly seasonal camping on or near the shoreline now known as Owen Beach, which is named for Floyd Owen, a former park superintendent who was with the park district for 47 years..

In 1890, a streetcar line began carrying people to the park. By 1914, the Pagoda, an Asian-influenced building that still stands today, was serving as a streetcar station inside the park. The building had a heated waiting room for passengers, a first-aid-station, and marble-walled restrooms with attendants who handed out towels.

Here are some other early park milestones, and the years they occurred:

1903

Waterfront development of the park started, eventually producing a ferry dock, a restaurant, boat rentals, and refreshment stands.

1905
The federal government formally grants the title of Point Defiance Park to the city of Tacoma on March 3. The prime mover of the legislation was Congressman Francis W. Cushman, who was honored in 1925 for his efforts with a statue near the park.

1906
The Nereides Baths opened on Memorial Day. Tacoma’s first indoor swimming pool, or natatorium as it was then called, had Puget Sound saltwater heated to 80 degrees and rental bathing suits, all for 10 cents. The baths closed and the building was torn down in the early 1930s.

1921
Development of the park waterfront expanded with a major addition adjacent to the octagonal Pavilion. This arched concrete structure, also referred to as the Pavilion, eventually boasted three stories and included a restaurant, aquarium, and housing for park employees. Fire destroyed the boathouse and pavilion in 1984, but they were rebuilt and reopened four years later.

1933
Funland opened on Memorial Day. Privately operated, the amusement park provided an escape during the years of the Great Depression and World War II. Point Defiance Riding Academy also opened, giving horseback riders the opportunity to enjoy the park’s bridle paths. Both attractions closed in the 1960s. 

1940s
Miltary influence at the point continued into this decade. The park, its forests, gardens, and attractions served the World War II homefront as a convenient and affordable local getaway during a time of gas rationing. Army Air Force crash boat rescue crews were stationed at the Pavilion during the war years in the event of a downed aircraft in Puget Sound.

1959
Point Defiance Zoo added the Children’s Farm Zoo, with cows, chickens, rabbits, ducks, and goats to delight city kids. Care of the farm animals was a cooperative venture between zoo staff and chapters of the Future Farmers of America. On a much larger scale, the zoo expanded after voters approved a bond issue in 1977.

(Elisabeth Muth, seen at her 100th birthday celebration, lives in her own home in Lakewood).

By Judith Graham

KFF

“The future is here,” the e-mail announced. Hilda Jaffe, then 88, was letting her children know she planned to sell the family home in Verona, New Jersey. She’d decided to begin life anew — on her own — in a one-bedroom apartment in New York City.

Fourteen years later, Jaffe, now 102, still lives alone — just a few blocks away from the frenetic flashing lights and crowds that course through Times Square.

She’s the rarest of seniors: A centenarian who is sharp as a tack, carries grocery bags in each hand when she walks back from her local market, and takes city buses to see her physicians or attend a matinee at the Metropolitan Opera.

Jaffe cleans her own house, does her own laundry, manages her own finances, and stays in touch with a far-flung network of family and friends via e-mail, social media, and Zoom. Her son, Richard Jaffe, 78, lives in San Jose, Calif. Her daughter, Barbara Vendriger, 75, lives in Israel.

Jaffe is an extraordinary example of an older adult living by herself and thriving.

On the other side of the country, in Pierce County, is another one. Elisabeth Muth celebrated her 100^th birthday Jan. 25. She lives in her own home in the Lakewood area and attributes her longevity to being active her entire life: Hiking, skiing, tennis, riding bikes, walking, gardening, and caring for her home and grandchildren (she has five of them, plus seven grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren, and a great-great-grandson on the way). She also gives credit to healthy eating.

A noteworthy slice of seniors living alone maintain a high degree of well-being. What might account for this, particularly among people in the farthest reaches of old age?

Sofiya Milman is director of Human Longevity Studies at the Institute for Aging Research at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. She studies people known as “super-agers” —95 and older. “As a group, they have a very positive outlook on life” and are notably resilient, she said.

Qualities associated with resilience in older adults include optimism and hopefulness, an ability to adapt to changing circumstances, meaningful relationships, community connections, and physical activity, according to a growing body of research.

That describes Muth. Born in 1925 in Augsburg in Bavarian Germany, she was 8 years old when Hitler’s Nazis came to power. She witnessed the Holocaust when friends and neighbors were apprehended and taken away, never to be seen again. At the age of 10, she was forced to serve in the Hitler Youth and suffered all that fascism brings. Her family was forced apart when her father was deployed to fight in World War II; then her grandmother and little sister were sent to live with a relative in the countryside for safety. Augsburg, with a military aircraft factory and other industrial bases, was a prime target for Allied bombers, and Elisabeth survived air raids too numerous to count, fearing each would be her last. Eventually, a neighbor’s home took a direct hit, killing everyone inside and destroying surrounding buildings, including Elisabeth’s home. From there, she and her mother had to live with strangers in a nearby apartment. 

At 17, Elisabeth and her older sister were pressed into government service as telephone operators. She narrowly averted death again when the large communications building where she worked took a direct hit in yet another air raid.

At 22, she married a German maritime engineer.  He was often traveling as part of his job in delivering new ships. When their marriage was failing, he invited her to join him on a three-month voyage aboard a tanker, her first time outside of Germany. She has vivid memories of being the only woman on board and the many places she saw, including the Suez Canal.

In 1953, she married a U.S. military member who fought in WWII and the Vietnam War. They left Germany in 1957 and over the years were stationed in many states in the U.S. In the South, knowing nothing about civil rights, segregation and the like, she unknowingly used a blacks bathroom and couldn’t understand why people were so upset. That’s one of the things she learned about America quickly while new to the country and often left alone with her children when her husband was deployed. They were stationed back in Germany again from 1964 to 1970. 

Elisabeth lost her husband, Charles, to heart disease when she was 48. She remained a single parent, worked as a bank teller, and later earned two degrees in college.

Many of her friends have passed, so all her remaining friends are younger. She adores her family, friends, and neighbors. She often says the Lord gave her nine lives and she has nearly used them all, said her daughter, Charlene Pagan, who notes that Elisabeth is an inspiration to her family.

“We’re so blessed to have her,” Pagan said.

Meanwhile, in New York City, Jaffe has a different life story but many of the same qualities as Munn, including a “can-do” attitude. She credits her longevity to genetic heritage, luck, and her commitment to “keep moving,” in that order. Asked to describe herself, she responded “pragmatic,” with a clear-eyed view of what she can and can’t do and making adjustments as necessary. She likes being independent and doing things her way. “If a problem comes up, I work it out,” Jaffe said. 

There are only 101,000 centenarians in the U.S., according to the Census Bureau. Fifteen percent live independently or operate independently while living with someone, said Thomas Perls, founder and director of the New England Centenarian Study, the largest study of centenarians in the world. (Jaffe is one of 2,500 subjects of the study.)

About 20 percent of centenarians are, like Jaffe, free of physical or cognitive impairments, Perls said. An additional 15 percent have no age-related illnesses such as arthritis or heart disease.

Every day, Jaffe tries to walk 3,000 steps — outside if the weather is good or doing laps in her hallway inside if the weather is bad. Her diet is simple: Bread, cheese, and decaffeinated coffee for breakfast; a sandwich or eggs for lunch; chicken and a vegetable or restaurant leftovers for dinner. She never smoked, doesn’t drink alcohol, and sleeps an average of eight hours each night.

Even more important, Perls said, Jaffe remains engaged with other people. She has subscriptions to the Metropolitan Opera, the New York Philharmonic, and a chamber music series. She participates in online events and regularly visits new exhibits at museums, where she has memberships. She’s in regular contact with family members and friends.

Jaffe also belongs to a book club at her synagogue, serves on the synagogue’s adult education committee,  and volunteers as a docent at New York Public Library’s main branch.

“Loneliness is not an issue,” she said.

Jaffe said she doesn’t worry about what comes next. She just lives day to day.

That change in perspective is common in later life, said Laura Carstensen, founding director of Stanford University’s Center on Longevity, who has studied emotional changes that accompany aging for decades.

“Focusing on the present and experiencing the here and now becomes more important to older adults,” said Carstensen. “As does savoring positive things in their lives.”

Carstensen’s research group was the first to show that older adults were more resilient emotionally during the COVID-19 pandemic than young or middle-age adults. “Older people are better able to cope with difficulties” because of skills and perspective gained over the course of a lifetime, and because “when we see our future as shorter, it feels more manageable,” she said.

Jaffe understands facing forward and letting go of the past. Losing her husband, Gerald Jaffe, in 2005 after 63 years of marriage was hard, she admitted, but moving away from New Jersey five years later was easy.

“We had done what we had wanted to do there. I was 88 at that point and so many people were gone. The world had changed,” she said. “I didn’t feel a sense of loss.”

Living in New York, she said, “couldn’t be better.” Her 30-story apartment building “is safe and well maintained. Everything is close by–a market, the pharmacy, restaurants, buses. In a house in New Jersey, I would be isolated.”

“My joke is I’m going to be done in by a bicycle delivery person cutting through the pedestrian crosswalk,” she said, but until that or something else happens, “I live in a state of surprise. Every day is a new day. I don’t take it for granted at all.”

Source: KFF Health News, a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health and related issues, contributed to this report.

(Pictured: Jimmy Carter visited Washington twice between 1976 and 1980. Photo credit: Plains Historical Preservation Trust).

By Josh Cohen

CascadePBS.org

Before Jimmy Carter died Dec. 29, 2024 at 100, the 39th president made two memorable visits to Washington, one before and one after he was elected to the White House.

The peanut farmer and former Navy officer entered politics in 1963, winning election to a seat in the Georgia state Senate. In 1970, he was elected as Georgia’s governor.

Seattle for a speech at the American Legion convention at Seattle Center Coliseum (now Climate Pledge Arena). Carter had already beaten Washington’s then-U.S. Sen. Henry M. Jackson in the Democratic primary and was now facing Republican incumbent Gerald Ford. Speaking to about 25,000 veterans just a year after the end of the Vietnam War, Carter said he wanted to pardon Vietnam draft dodgers in an effort to move past the divisiveness of the war.

According to reporting by KIRO-7, the suggestion was met with boos and shouts from the audience. Carter followed through with a presidential pardon of draft dodgers on his second day in office. Carter won the national election, but 52 percent of Washington voters chose Ford in ’76.

Some of Carter’s priorities in office would mirror Washington’s contemporary policy direction. For example, despite his reputation for austerity, Carter proposed welfare reforms that included guaranteed basic income and a federal jobs guarantee. But the idea never received a vote in Congress. 

Carter returned to Washington near the end of his presidency in the wake of the Mt. Saint Helens eruption. On May 23, 1980, five days after the volcano erupted, Carter took a helicopter flight out of Portland to survey the damage. After the flight landed at the Kelso, airport, Carter, told reporters, “I don’t know if there is anything like (the volcanic devastation) in the world. There’s nothing left but massive piles of mud and what used to be mountain. It’s an unbelievable sight.”

Source: Cascade PBS, a journalism site covering the Pacific Northwest.